You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

It was a BAD DAY all around...

I unconsciously turned off the alarm and slept an hour too late, I cried

Koz was not doing well this morning, I cried

I could not hold onto anything, I decided I was having DMS (as opposed to PMS), I cried

I was jumpy and anxious, I went shopping (to make myself feel better?), spent too much money, I cried

Went back to the store (a small "boutique") a couple hours later and tried to return the clothing and low and behold there is a sign that says ALL RETURNS ARE FOR STORE CREDIT ONLY - damage done, I cried

Got home, got Koz to eat and it began to pour, I did not want to run in the rain (I know what I said Dr John), I cried

I wondered if I was so emotional b/c I was off the meds, I cried

I thought about going back on the meds, I cried

I went to sleep, I kept waking up after a dream that I was hit in the back of the head by a baseball (I could hear the metal clank of the bat hitting the ball) and jumping up

I felt fat because I did not run, I thought of all the chocolate I've eaten this week, I ate more chocolate, I cried

Took a bath, cried some more

Put the pork in the oven and cooked the cous cous and made a salad, I had not turned the oven on, I really cried.

I ate dinner with S (45 minutes later than planned) and watched the NBA draft, could not care less, did not cry

Checked my email saw that Momo and Dr John had answered yet another one of my questions, thought about how cool they are, I cried

Decided to post all this so maybe I will stop crying...

...uh...can we pretend that today did not happen, cause guess what I'm doing?


Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong (Daniel Powter)