Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Ate Pop Tarts for bfast (instead of Kashi or oatmeal)
Ate out for lunch (salad and a slice of pineapple pizza...maybe something funky in the salad?)
Tried a vitamin fortified energy water my neighbor recommended (ginkgo and I don't always get along)
Not feeling great.
STILL not feeling great...getting those little stabbing cramp pains
Order out dinner with S's family (not hungry but don't want to be rude.)
Eat some pomodoro and some grilled chicken
Really not feeling good.
Get home and open a letter from an oncologists office (about two years ago my gyn suggested I get a fibrous mass checked out...checked out fine) saying that as a patient in active cancer treatment I had been chosen to lead a lap in the relay for life...
I don't cuss...(a lot)
I am doing so well, I had not obsessed over my health in a long time, I am loving the way that running makes me feel and I am reducing my meds. Why do I look at this letter the day that I don't feel well.
What if the doctor gave me the wrong test results and I should be in cancer treatment...maybe this is why I don't feel well...
Right now you are thinking that this is irrational and the two don't correlate at all.
That, my friend, is the difference between you and me!
The difference between the old me and the new me...I'm over it...looking forward to tomorrow!
That doctor's office is going to get one hell of a call tomorrow...this girl ain't a shrinking violet no more either!
You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Didn't do too bad! Now that I have this nifty watch/HR monitor I can give stats:
40 minutes total
Average HR 144
Lap 1 (1 Lap = 1 mile)
average HR 66%
average HR 81%
average HR 83%
What do y'all think?
In other news...nothing exciting happening b/c after our "all out" trip to Chicago we have NO money! We did have fun cooking out with our next door neighbors last night. New inexpensive wine to mention - Twin Finn Pino Gris....Especially if you like a REALLY smooth white! I have also decided that grilled pineapple is my favorite thing EVER!
Program cutting the corners
Loose end, loose end, cut, cut
On the fence, could not to offend
Cut, cut, cut, cut (DMB)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
A little humor to begin with...Scott was taking so long to take a picture of me with my...Huge pancakes (this is the short stack) at the Grand Luxe Cafe that I resorted to making a funny face....
The humor continues at the John Hancock building in Chicago where you can pretend to be a window washer. I do agree with the hype that this view is better than the Sears Tower.
This is the rooftop building that we went to. It is run by a company called Beyond the Ivy. Note the great rooftop stadium seats as well as the indoor area, with big picture windows, below.
This is the "media room" in the indoor portion. The seats are looking at one big screen and two smaller TV screens. The Cubs, Sports Center, The Bulls and other sporting events were on.
This is the indoor area that I thought resembled a nice box at a game. Behind the tables is the indoor bar, and you can see that there is a TV in there too...as you do not get a full field view.
So, here I am on the rooftop! The best, Jerry, the best!
There were "K" signs and slots which S got a kick out of.
So Sunday morning we met Scott's buddy and business partner (SH)and at his suggestion went to Lou Mitchell's, which I, now, highly recommend. When you walk in the door you are greeted and handed a fresh donut hole and when you are seated the ladies and kids get a little box of Milk Duds, I am sure there is a story...I have no idea. I had some great banana pancakes!
Monday morning S and his buddy had business meetings so I braved the L alone and headed out to Frank Lloyd Wrights Home and Studio at Oak Park. This is my attempt at a self portrait in front of the house. This is right after I ran (the only running of the trip) about a mile to (try to) make it for the 11:00 tour. When I got there I was told the 11:00 tour was sold out, but there were plenty of spots in the 11:20 tour. Of course, I had no idea there was an 11:20 tour!
No pictures allowed inside....but I highly recommend it! It is a beautiful and functional and practical and magical space that is so far ahead of its time it is amazing!
Outside Oak Park 3.
I needed no sunscreen for Monday night's Cubs game...it was FREEZING. I even signed up for a credit card in order to get the "gift" which was a blanket. I am sure Bank of America did well with their promotion that night!
I never got any pizza. I went home Tuesday afternoon and S and his buddy had pizza Wednesday night. They went to Uno's. I am not a fan of deep dish...so I was not all that bummed.
Let me root root root for the....CUBBIES, if they don't win it's a shame
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Despite planning (packed running shorts, shirts and shoes) and the best intentions I did not get an "official" workout in. Did do a lot of walking and did core work and push ups in the room...but that is it! (I'll blame it on the extra inning games, and all you can drink wine (see below)!)
We had a great time...three Cubbies games...won one for three, not unusual for the Cubs. REALLY enjoyed the rooftop seats (ended up going twice), worth every penny. All you can drink wine, beer, soda, water. All you can eat hot dogs, burgers, chips, BBQ grilled chicken and brownies. Great stadium seating on the roof top and also two indoor areas. One with the field in view and the other set up to watch multiple TVs at once (a lot of people where keeping an eye on the Bulls game Saturday night). Best of all...great bathrooms!
Weather was crazy...sunburned one day, freezing the next!
Ate bfast at a place called Lou Miller's that is SO good...have to go if you are in Chicago!
Great visit to Frank Lloyd Wright's home at Oak Park - just makes me admire the man more.
Hit Michigan Street shopping and did a little damage...I would say I did pretty well considering that every store you can dream of is located along this magnificent mile!
Not going to try to get back into any routine...heading to the beach on the 1st. That will allow for a lot of training...love running on the beach and there is a great gym just down the road from where we are staying where I can get weights and yoga in!
Scott gets home (with the camera) tomorrow...he stayed for business... I have lots of pics to post, so I will add more juicy trip details when I put them up.
I'm here I'm dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
Is this real, oh lord, or am I dreaming? (DMB)
Friday, April 20, 2007
My first thought was that I took it into the office for some reason...I had cleaned out my purse at the office that afternoon so there was the possibility it ended up on my desk. Trecked back in tohe office and looked there with no luck. Got to the car and decided that maybe I had it in my lap when I got out of the car and it feel out onto the pavement. I drove back up to the roof and looked around, and nothing. Stopped up there and did another search of the car and found nothing!
So, I realized that I needed to get going and coughed up the $5 if costs to get out of the lot without a card.
Didn't think about it again until yesterday morning. Before I left the house I did another check of the car. Way under my seat was the box of peanut butter crackers I am supposed to be handing out. Not handing them out is partially my fault for not carrying them with me as diligently as I once planned and also a reduction in the number of people approaching me.
Low and behold there in the peanut butter cracker box was my card...this got me thinking. There is no logical way for it to have ended up there...even if the card fell under the seat I don't see how it would have cleared the lip of the box. So, on my walk with Koz I stuffed my pockets with crackers thinking that this must have been a sign that I would meet someone who needed the crackers today. Our walk was nice and we did not come across anyone asking for help.
At this point I thought how silly I was. I am sure there was some reason that the card could bounce into the box...stranger things have happened. Peanut butter crackers did not enter my mind for the rest of the day.
On the way home I got off at my regular exit and there they were. A young couple with a dog. The girl had black hair in dreads, the real kind (not the kind that people who want to have the real kind have). She had on a white T Shirt and cut off pants and a very old pair of canvas sneakers. She was sitting on the side of the road with the black and white dog, one sleeping bag and a messenger type bag. The guy had on an old hat, with oily hair sticking out from under it, a faded concert T-shit of some description, jeans and no shoes. He was standing by the side of the road with a sign that said:
in a girly print with embellishments, obviously the work of his lady friend. I turned around and instead of being crammed under my seat the peanut butter crackers were easily within reach. I rolled the window down and motioned him over and handed him too packs. He said, "thank you so much" and as he reached for the crackers I noticed a tattoo on his hand...it said TRUST. He handed her the crackers and she enthusiastically thanked me and I drove on.
He really does work in mysterious ways!
Tomorrow morning at 6:15 I am getting on a plane to Chicago...probably will be out of touch until next Tuesday...there is a gym at the hotel...that should truly test my dedication.
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am (Brandi Carlile)
Thursday, April 19, 2007
It occurred to me (for the first time) last night that if I start running at a steady pace (instead of "as fast as comfortable") that my heart rate would climb past 75% (b/c it did) much slower! It was not until the last 5 minutes that I was slowing the treadmill to a crawl. Good run .
I have been dreaming like a crazy person lately...I actually had to call my Mom this morning to ask her if she actually told me something yesterday or I dreamed it!
Getting ready to head to Chicago early Saturday morning...it is finally warming up here in TN, but it looks like we are headed back into "cooler" weather (which means packing layers, which means packing more, ugh).
I have free time (S has meetings) on Monday and Tuesday...the only thing I know I want to do is visit a couple Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and (window) shop.
I have been feeling pretty "panicky" this week in the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy. Any event that illustrates, so clearly, how fragile life is tends to send me swirling. I have handled this much better than I would have a while ago. I have prayed a lot, for the families, the community, the souls of those who we all lost. Instead of dwelling on the death I have asked myself to celebrate life and every breath that I am gifted with and making sure that I enjoy and appreciate, in some way, every one.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Going to spend some time with the Koz in the sun spot and go for a run...hope to feel less funky soon.
God bless everyone touched by the tragedy at Virginia Tech!
You had a bad day
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Friday I had a great run...a new kind of great run. After 20 minutes I was hitting a wall and thought - I know that my plan says 45, maybe I can just do thirty and run 45 on my next running day...BUT - I did not wimp out and I ran the 45 - my first 3 mile run!
Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm
Friday, April 13, 2007
Last night I skipped my workout, drank two glasses of wine ate a cheese stuffed quesidillia and about three of four servings of a bag of chocolate cookies. After it was all over with I was feeling quite guilty. I began to beat myself up and then thought - OK, today balances the three good days I had Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday...this will be my one bad day this week. While this is not optimal and not a behavior, or a day, that I hope to repeat, I was proud of my frame of mind and my ability to not self destruct.
To continue this thought process I realized that balance is THE ability that I have lacked in my life. I was an all or nothing girl. I would totally commit myself to running, be in it for three or four weeks, miss a few workouts and drop it. In other words, take the easy way out. Once I found an excuse to fail...I allowed myself to fail. I have started,, and quit, three post graduate degrees, I have taken the easy way out and quit two jobs that challenged me emotionally and I have not stuck (until now) to an exercise routine. Even in the care I take of my house, bills, life...everything is either totally in order or totally out of order.
So here I am with the realization that balance can mean a number of things. Balancing my day, my week, my life is a fluid process that does not come with a recipe. My anxiety and OCD have sent me through a period where I felt as if I needed to find out, "who am I, where am I going, what am I doing?" and I realize now that those answers are also fluid and are not answered in a matter of days, weeks or therapy sessions.
Where does this all leave me...I don't know... and I am OK with that. After realizing that I had spent my evening in a very glutinous way I turned to the Bible. I was reading Luke and came across the following verse in Luke 2:13&14
And he said unto them, Exact no more than that which is appointed you.
And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.
The word that stuck out to me and got me thinking was content. Not necessarily as used in the passage (I could use a raise:) but my next personal goal is to be content with myself....and the decisions I make...at 31 I need to realize I will never do anything perfect...and that is OK. The solution is really easy...yesterday was my rest day, I'll do my 45 minute run tonight and go to yoga in the morning to make up for missing a cross training workout.
In a soldier's stance, I aimed my hand
At the mongrel dogs who teach
Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach
My pathway led by confusion boats
Mutiny from stern to bow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now. (Bob Dylan)
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
For the first time, really....
I was not thinking about my side or my knee or the time or how far I was going or what my pace or heartrate was...
I was running...
listening to music, watching CNN and ESPN, noticing the people that came in and out...
and 30 minutes was up...
I was a little sad...
I wanted to run more...
Not to tell you that I wanted to run more, not to post it on my log, not to outdo anyone around me..
I wanted to run more...
because I was truly enjoying it!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
1. I look forward to working out
2. I am taking less medicine
3. I am not (as) grumpy in the morning
4. I am dreaming like crazy
5. I am not napping as much
6. I am not jumpy in the late afternoon
7. I am encouraging my Mom and my friend KB to do a relay triathlon with me in July (found on ZBuck's site) so I can continue to train.
8. Koz's bump was NOT cancer!!!!
9. I am steadily increasing my mileage on my low heart rate, 30 minute runs (2.6 miles yesterday)
10. I am accepting that I can not control the world, let alone my life
11. I do not want to loose any more weight - size 8 is great
12. I gave away my first pack of peanut butter crackers to a homeless woman who seemed to truly appreciate them
13. I ran my car into a pole and dented my bumper...I realized there was no reason to get mad - that would not change anything
14. I like Peanut Butter Cookie Luna Bars
15. I am truly reconnecting with my spiritual side
Still in pain,
You put me back together again (U2)
Monday, April 9, 2007
Dad and Tommy...Tommy calls my father "batman" because my father did not want a "grand" name...my sister found plastic Easter Eggs with batman on them at the store and they were the hit of the brunch!
Our big TV is officially, totally, messed up. It buzzed at me like crazy...so, I moved the little TV from the kitchen into "my room" (as opposed to the men's den) so I would not miss What Not to Wear (love that show). I called a repair man this morning...we'll see!
James Evan Hall and James Dominick Giannasi
the proud grandparents
me and Jimmy...you can see my handsome husband in the back in his seersucker jacket
It was an adventure dressing this weekend (not like Allez who had to dress for a freezing triathlon!) I went with the dress, jacket and boots route and just tried to stick with bright colors!
I did NOT get the knitting done...hope to get it done by Wednesday....I'll post a pic!
Yesterday we celebrated with Scott's family. We went to church and then to his parents to hang with his mother's side of the family and see Baby Kate hunt eggs, eat and eat and eat and nap!
The only sad news is that I do not think that my hydrangea's are going to make it through this weather! My peony seems to be handling it; but, despite covering and care I doubt we will be any hydrangea blooms this spring and summer!
phew...a long one...going to the gym tonight to do a run...keeping at it and enjoying how much better daily exercise makes me feel! PLUS - I ate enough chocolate to make up for the 40 days of lent this weekend - don't need that settling anywhere fast!
This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Yesterday afternoon S and I followed up on a flier we got in the mail from one of the premier sports clubs in Chatt-a-vegas, The Sports Barn. It is a restricted membership that basically limits you to one club (as opposed to being able to using all three in the city) and does not allow you to reserve machines in advance. The deal was too good to pass up...$99 a year for three years. Great classes, equipment, cardio machines, an outdoor pool (heated in the winter), nice locker rooms and showers and all the towels you want! And we pay, in a year, what we pay for two months at our little community Y. I will miss our Y, it had a lot of...character.
Check out our new digs:
...then I remembered that the high Sunday will by 57 and the low 30! Passed on this one...might have to go back and get it after this cold snap passes!
On the same note, I had to bring all the flowers I planted into the basement tonight and will be covering the peonies and hydrangea with towels for the next couple of nights...looks like we will be back in the 70's in about a week. CRAZY weather!
You're not looking like you used to
You're on the other side of the mirror
So nothing's looking quite as clear
Thank you, for turning on the light
Thank you, now you're the parasite
I didn't think you had it in you
And now, you're looking like I used to (NO DOUBT)
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Monday, April 2, 2007
THE FLOWERS! Top is on the front porch and will move with green pots on the right when I get the front porch done. Left is the back porch and below is what is yet to come....
No bunny brunch pics yet...I will post them soon!
p.s. ran thirty minutes straight...two miles...Oh yea...more tomorrow...