Thursday, July 31, 2008
Part of my frustration with the whole weight loss thing was that I was, for those two weeks, tracking what I ate very carefully. I was counting crackers and washing measuring cups nightly. WW online has a points tracker and everything that went into my mouth went on the points tracker. I skipped dessert, did not have a glass of wine, was hungry and felt like I had NO energy and it got me no where!
I feel a little bit lost in that area at the moment. I am going to let me mind continue to work through it and figure out what I am going to do by Monday.
The beach was great. I had a fabulous time and I ate and drank wine and swam and ran and walked and caught up with family and read in the hammock (discovered a new author, Daniel Silva...I read Secret Servant in three days (fast for me) and it was goooood!) and felt fine.
My cousins live in Nags Head, NC and own this great restaurant, Tortuga's Lie. In addition to outfitting us in their awesome T Shirts they always bring me a sense of calm and a sense of purpose. I walked away wondering if I was simply wondering too much!
My big accomplishments of the trip were running twice (I thought Chattanooga was hot) and swimming a mile in the ocean. The ocean swim took another brick out of my mental wall...boy did I want to quit...but I didn't and I lived to tell about it.
Being without the meds is getting a little tough. I forgot what it is like to have my mind be on overdrive 24/7. I am not sleeping well b/c I can not stop thinking. But when I slow down and try to relax the bad thoughts creep in and I tend to rev back up again to avoid them. Oh, what a vicious cycle.
I got up and worked out this morning. I had not gone yet this week. early morning meetings and a lack of motivation kept me in bed. I am going to run/walk tomorrow (30minute run and 20 minute walk on an incline) and do elliptical and weights Saturday and run OUTSIDE Sunday.
Thanks for listening to me ramble!
Now all of these voices
And all of these noises
With all their illusions of choices
They've come to my door
With one dozen roses
The imitation of good faith
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
I do not know what YOU do...
eat two tubs of weight watchers ice cream
three WW toffee bars
drink a big glass of cheap Pinot Gris
feel sorry for myself
and refuse to workout the next morning
I think I managed to eradicate every mentally and physically healthy aspect of my life in about 12 hours.
I really need an attitude adjustment...if the beach can't do it I fear I am a lost cause.
can't write if ya' can't relate,
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate,
and my time is a piece of wax, fallen on a termite,who's chokin' on the
Friday, July 18, 2008
Still managed another good week of workouts:
Monday: 40 minutes Elliptical
Tuesday: 3miles...building and then declining intervals
Mile 1: 12:13
Mile 2: 11:09
Mile 3: 12:06
Thursday: 30 minutes Elliptical and 20 minutes lifting (arms)
Friday: 30 minute run (2.5 miles) and 20 minutes walk on incline
I am especially proud of two things so far this week. How about that second mile on Tuesday..looking good...and I ran the entire three miles without stopping! And this morning I managed to get up and get to the gym at 5:15 (usually get there at 5:45) b/c I had an early meeting this morning.
In other news from last week:
Tuesday was a big day in our city. Volkswagen decided to locate their new US production plant in Chattanooga. This is a project that the hubby has had on his radar for a while. He works in Economic and Community Development for the State. I have spent most of the week really enjoying being a proud wife!
Meds, or lack there of, this week has been up and down. The beginning of this week was tough and I had thoughts of calling the head shrinker and yelling...PROZAC, PLEASE...NOW! Today, on the other hand, has been one of the best days in a while. I KNOW these up and downs will happen for a while and I need to ride the waves!
Food this week has been good too. I am starting to appreciate food as fuel and the taste as an added benefit...(that being said I did stuff myself at Carrabba's tonight so you can scratch that!).
Tomorrow I am going to a 9:30 spin class (if I can get in, I am on a (cheap) restricted membership at the gym which means I can not make a reservation) and Sunday I am planning on running and lifting.
Tomorrow is a pretty busy day...a brunch lingerie shower, dropping in on my sister and the boys at the park and a 50th birthday party for Scott's uncle. Sunday is Kate's 4th birthday party!
The little ones are growing up!
Probably post something Monday or Tuesday...hoping to be posting about a weight lost. I hope to leave for the beach Wednesday night with a good mindset about putting a bathing suit on Thursday morning!
Take your instinct by the reins
Your better best to rearrange
What we want and what we need
Has been confused, been confused
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Monday: 40 minutes on the Elliptical
Tuesday: 3 miles...4 minute run (5.0) 1 minute walk (4.0)
Mile 1: 12:17
Mile 2: 12: 31
Mile 3: 12:14
Wednesday: 20 minute Elliptical and 15 minute swim
Thursday: 20 minute run...1.6 miles and 30 minutes weights
Saturday: 30 minute run...2.5 miles and 20 minutes Elliptical
The only day that did not go quite as well as planned was Wednesday. I forgot my goggles and Scott was in the pool while I was on the Elliptical so he was kinda goofing off by the time I got to the pool...these two things left me less focused than I usually am.
WW going well. Staying on point with my points this week.
I am VERY proud of my runs this week. On Wednesday I ran 20 minutes straight and today I ran 30 minutes straight. I am learning to push through that mental wall and that little voice that tells me to stop before my body actually does.
I have felt pretty balanced with my meds this week. I did find out that my new head shrinker, that I was just beginning to trust, is moving...we did not really talk about what happens next. I am not sure if I need to find someone else or if she will recommend someone.
In other happy news my parents have offered to fly me to the beach this year. This is an annual trip that I did not get to take last year b/c of the campaign. Scott will not be able to go with me, which makes me sad; but, I know I will have a great time!
Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies
Oh, he don't know, so he chases them away
Someday yet, he'll begin his life again, yeah
Oh, whispering hands, gently lead him away
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
My Dad surprised my Mom the night of her birthday dinner and arranged for her brother to drive down from DC to visit for a while!
and went bowling...
Aunt Molly now has 2 nieces and 2 nephews!
Thursday night we gathered on the Hall Ass II to grill out and watch fireworks...the Lookouts baseball team on one side of the river and the Pops in the Park n the other side of the river!
Friday we went to Uncle Kit and Aunt Fran's for Kit's famous ribs. Scott only ate 19 ribs this year!
Saturday I helped throw a baby shower for my friend Michelle (middle).
And today I hosted a Mary Kay party. My sister's brother and sister in law are in town and her sister in law, Julie is a MK director. After the party we had dinner on the Hall Ass with my parents.
Given everything that has gone on this week I am relatively proud of my eating habits. I have not followed my weight watchers points to a "T" but I did remain mindful of what I was eating and how much I was eating.
This week was also a little touch and go with the meds. I had a few really tough days as I continued to lower my dose. As of Friday I am off of my Lamictal. I presume that there will be a couple more bumpy days to come.
This weeks plan:
Though the air speaks of all well never be
It wont trouble me
-Toad the Wet Sprocket