Goodness knows I saw it coming

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person; however I have been pretty dense on this one...

It occurred to me (for the first time) last night that if I start running at a steady pace (instead of "as fast as comfortable") that my heart rate would climb past 75% (b/c it did) much slower! It was not until the last 5 minutes that I was slowing the treadmill to a crawl. Good run .

I have been dreaming like a crazy person lately...I actually had to call my Mom this morning to ask her if she actually told me something yesterday or I dreamed it!

Getting ready to head to Chicago early Saturday morning...it is finally warming up here in TN, but it looks like we are headed back into "cooler" weather (which means packing layers, which means packing more, ugh).

We are going to three Cubbies games, (S is a HUGE fan!) Saturday night we are going to watch from the roof top (which is very expensive and I hope when we get there I will understand why) Saturday night and from the stands Sunday and Monday nights.

I have free time (S has meetings) on Monday and Tuesday...the only thing I know I want to do is visit a couple Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and (window) shop.

I have been feeling pretty "panicky" this week in the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy. Any event that illustrates, so clearly, how fragile life is tends to send me swirling. I have handled this much better than I would have a while ago. I have prayed a lot, for the families, the community, the souls of those who we all lost. Instead of dwelling on the death I have asked myself to celebrate life and every breath that I am gifted with and making sure that I enjoy and appreciate, in some way, every one.

I also hope that this tragedy brings to light the need to treat mental illness as seriously as physical illness. I was lucid enough to know that I needed help, that I wanted help for the dark obsessive thoughts I was having. The young man at the center of this was obviously not as lucid, however it seems that those around him should have been more diligent in getting him the help that he needed. If there is to be a lesson learned, I hope that we make mental care less stigmatized and more available to those who need it (whether they know it or not!).

This could be the very minute

I'm aware I'm alive

All these places feel like home (Snow Patrol)