Sunday, April 29, 2007

And so she woke up, woke up from where she was lying still

A quick snap shot:

Ate Pop Tarts for bfast (instead of Kashi or oatmeal)

Ate out for lunch (salad and a slice of pineapple pizza...maybe something funky in the salad?)

Tried a vitamin fortified energy water my neighbor recommended (ginkgo and I don't always get along)

Not feeling great.

STILL not feeling great...getting those little stabbing cramp pains

Order out dinner with S's family (not hungry but don't want to be rude.)

Eat some pomodoro and some grilled chicken

Really not feeling good.

Get home and open a letter from an oncologists office (about two years ago my gyn suggested I get a fibrous mass checked out...checked out fine) saying that as a patient in active cancer treatment I had been chosen to lead a lap in the relay for life...

I don't cuss...(a lot)

F*CK
F*CK
F*CK

I am doing so well, I had not obsessed over my health in a long time, I am loving the way that running makes me feel and I am reducing my meds. Why do I look at this letter the day that I don't feel well.

What if the doctor gave me the wrong test results and I should be in cancer treatment...maybe this is why I don't feel well...

Right now you are thinking that this is irrational and the two don't correlate at all.

That, my friend, is the difference between you and me!

HOWEVER...

The difference between the old me and the new me...I'm over it...looking forward to tomorrow!

AND

That doctor's office is going to get one hell of a call tomorrow...this girl ain't a shrinking violet no more either!


You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

3 comments:

momo said...

oh, molly, i so followed your line of thinking! that's exactly where mine would have gone too.

hope you're feeling better today - sounds like it definitely could be food related.

Andra Sue said...

That's awful. You should totally call out the Dr's office on that letter. Upsetting to you, not to mention disrespectful to cancer survivors. Sheesh. I'm always amazed at how much medical offices DO NOT have their shit together.

Molly said...

UPDATE

Called the office..they sent the "invitation" to EVERYONE on their mailing list! It was the Doctor's decision so there was no use in getting mad at the his assistant. I told her to tell the doctor that sending the invite to everyine, instead of a targeted mailing, has to be the most irrisponsible thing I have ever heard!