Something I've done that I can't outrun

Dinner went well last night...the Chicken Parmigiana was really good. It was VERY cheesy. I actually cut the amount of cheese...cut back from 1/2 cup parmigiana reggiano and 1/2 pound smoked mozzarella to about 1/4 a cup parm and 5 oz of mozz. If I make it again I will cut it back even more. Scott grilled the chicken outside, which made it even better! Over all... YUM-O!

Cooking did snap me out of my funk...I felt very accomplished! But, just to give some insight into my psyche here... sometimes content times can be hardest for me. If I do not try very hard to stay in the moment I catch myself, not thinking about how nice this moment is, BUT worrying how many more happy moments I have left! It is a hard thing to understand if you are of sound mind...last night I dealt with it by thinking of, my negative thoughts as," roots of bitterness" and tried very hard to stay in the moment.

Then there was LOST. I thought a very good episode. Because of all my reading on the ABC web site I was not surprised by the Claire and Jack connection. The web site this morning brings up the possibility that the Jack we saw at the end of the show last night was the twin of Jack we know...interesting. I am SO excited about next week. Locke is my favorite. At one moment you think he is just like an impulsive little kid and the next moment you wonder if he is smarter than everyone thinks (how about him having some of the explosives!).

Finally, I did my bracket this morning...not TOO over the top. I have Florida, Kansas, Carolina and Memphis in the final four...with Memphis beating Kansas in the final. As far as early upsets I think that Arkansas will beat Southern Cal, I have Gonzaga beating Indiana AND UCLA, Holy Cross beating Southern Illinois and Tech beating UNLV.

I think that Florida will go far...part of me wants them to loose...because I would be really interested to see if Noah, Brewer and Green come back...can you imagine?!? AND Scott and I saw Kansas and Florida play in a tournament in Vegas and I think that Kansas might just be too big for Florida.

Maybe you should wait maybe you should run

But there's something you've said that can't be undone

(The Fray)

That's when I know that I have to get out cause I have been there before

Yesterday was a pretty much, all around, pity party kind of day.

Work was work...nothing overly exciting. But, after work (and taking Koz on our 40 minute walk at lunch) my knee was SOAR. Talked to my work runner buddy who thought that I might stay off it a little longer...the kind of day I was having, that was all I needed to hear.

Through JOHNNYTRI's site I started reading Steven's site and read about how much he appreciated his busy wife having a hot dinner on the table for him. I decided I would do the same...until S said he would be at the gym (lifting) from 7:30 until 9:00 and did not really want a big meal before he went and would probably eat cereal when he got home. So, tonight is the night that MY hubby will get a hot meal...Rachel Ray's Chicken Parmigiana. I have also decided that I am going to make a last ditch effort to stock our house with healthy, but more importantly, fresh food. With just the two of us eating irregularly, we often let (expensive) fruits and veggies go bad. But I caught myself eating tortilla chips last night b/c there was nothing else to snack on...so, I am going to try again.

So the pity part continued and I had frozen pizza for dinner and then drank too much red wine and ate too many butterscotch chips. By the time S got home from the gym I was bouncing off the walls. So, I helped him take ALL (a month's worth) of our recycling to the curb, and we talked to our neighbors a little and I calmed down somewhat.

Today has been pretty slow. Went and got my Passport application in...we are going to the Turks in May for a destination wedding. I should start trying self tanners now, to find one that looks OK on my translucent skin! Going to the store tonight to do my fresh food shopping and get stuff for the parmigiana.

I hope that successfully cooking a meal will snap me out of this funk...I have to be in a good frame of mind to do my bracket tonight!

So I gave up my seat at the bar and I head for the door. Yeah.
(Counting Crows)

Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, And His righteousness

Two things tonight:

1) My head shrinker has said on several occasions that I "awfulize," (i.e. expect the worst out of every situation). Tonight at Bible Study a verse stuck out to me. The following is from Hebrews 12:15, "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and through it many will become defiled."
This is another (specific) example of how I need to take the word of God and apply it to my everyday life. Because all of my negative obsessions do come from a "root," a small thought that grows and grows and grows and not only affects me, but the way that I interact with others.

2) A cool thing about my Dad: Listening to Glen Beck (I know, I know...it was just on) on the way home and he was talking about his priorities this year.He said, when his wife calls, his co-workers will hear, "just a minute, this is my wife, I need to take it," as opposed to, "I'm busy honey, let me call you back." I remember one time I called my Dad on his cell phone, and he answered. We talked for a moment and I asked what he was up to (I could hear that he was in a restaurant) and he said, "I am having dinner with the head of the FAA." Horrified me at the time - makes me smile today!

(Kim I can't spell, but you know that...)

And all these things shall be added unto you
Hallelu, Hallelujah!
(Matthew 6:33)

Gardening at night, gardening at night, gardening at night

I went to church this morning and showed off my bright white legs for the first time this spring.

When I got home S and I headed out to the mall to pick up all the clothes he got tailored during our shopping last weekend. When we got to the mall I headed to Clinique to pick up some pressed powder and on the way to Dillards...I saw it. I always wait for the Bath and Body Works after Christmas sale, when the store brings back retired fragrances, to get my favorite sent...Honeysuckle. I have used this fragrance on and off since High School and can never quite get away from it. Well, they have introduced a new Wild Honeysuckle...a little more mature, a little less sweet! I am so excited... I got the body wash, lotion, and would have gotten more but it is so popular that they have already sold out of a lot of elements.


After all of our running around, and getting my VERY dirty car washed, we went to one of our favorite places, Smokey Bones. They have great BBQ chicken nachos, and we love all the TV's and the little speakers on the tables so you can hear the volume on a specific channel. We got to watch some of the ACC, SEC, Big 10 and Big 12 Championship games.



After a quick trip to the Wall we headed home, I took a nap and S watched the Bracket show. The only other big news of the day is that I think I have found the non-chocolate little something to cure my craving...The Oatmeal Cream Pie! Who knew?



On the running front...my knee is really soar today. I plan on getting my old brace from my parents and I plan on taking it easy until then. I also need to get one of those little thing that tracks your mileage as you run.


Somewhere it must be time for penitence.
gardening at night is never where
(REM)

Three little birds, sat on my window. And they told me I don't need to worry.

Where to start...

#1
I know (know, know, know) that due to my delicate stomach I should not drink wine while I eat red meat. In my tipsy bliss last night I happily noted the burger and Merlot. So, S got home about 1:45 am last night and when I woke up (b/c our back door is not working and it is VERY hard (thus can be very loud) to get the key to work) to let him in I felt SO sick! SO, I managed to get sick about 45 minutes later, drink a Sprite, watch HGTV and went back to sleep around 3:30.

#2
Woke up around 9:00 to Koz rambunctiously licking my face. Still not feeling great. Fed him and decided to go for a run hopping that would make me feel better (sweat it out, right?)...ate a banana before I left. I then decided to do 5 minute intervals...running as fast as I can for 5 minutes and walking 5 minutes. The first 10 minutes were OK...2 and a half minutes into the second run the banana revisited me. SO...I decided to change my strategy and just take a nice walk home.

#3 - the good one
Got home, made coffee, showered, ate a Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart - LOVE, Love, love - and caught up with S. Then I headed to my High School to coach the alumni team against the varsity. I say coach lightly, it was my job to make sure that no one passed out before I got them a sub. And "my" team WON! It was the first time in a while that the "veterans" have won and I had SO (so, so, so) much fun seeing my guys. I really miss coaching!

#4
Still don't feel great...the chicken and red pepper quesidillia I made when I got home from the game is not sitting very well!

#5
In addition to not being able to get into our house, S discovered that the plumbing under the kitchen sink is leaking! This stresses me b/c I FEEL like the guy who put it in should fix it for free (he put it in four months ago!), but I don't know if that is right and furthermore, I know that regardless of how I feel, I will probably not have the balls to express myself.

So, I am now sitting here, frustrated about my bad "run," worrying too much about the sink, and still not feeling great. I think I am going to eat an English Muffin, reflect on the good parts of my day, read my (NEW, yea!) Lucky magazine and go to bed!

(Momma...I HOPE you find your HOPE!)

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?
(Corinne Bailey Rae)

Life's a journey not a destination And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

I have to say that Thursday was probably the most interesting day I have had in a very long time.

I found out Wednesday night that Dad hurt his knee and Mom fell at the pharmacy and two of her fingers were/are really swollen. So yesterday morning I went to my parents house and, after my Momma went to the emergency room to get her fingers checked out, I took Dad to quirky, but very talented, Dr. William Matthews who is 90% sure (his words) that Dad tore his meniscus. Having done this, and had surgery for it, I was not surprised. Momma ended up with two badly bruised fingers, no breaks or fractures.

So, after scheduling an MRI and surgery we went on to Bridge to Health to see Dad's massage therapist (with the Doc's OK) so he could work on getting the swelling out of Dad's knee. While he was there I walked down to The Stone Cup (http://www.stonecup.com/index/index.php) and got Dad and myself a sandwich and my friend Dawn at Bridge to Health a Soy Chi Latte and myself a vanilla latte and headed back.

So, Mom and Dad were planning on going to Atlanta to watch Tennessee play in the SEC tournament (http://www.secsports.com/index.php?s=&change_well_id=9954) and it was becoming more and more apparent that Dad (who also has a bit of a cold) did not want to go. I was not crazy about going, but I knew that if I got there I would be glad I went. It is the whole traveling to and from Atlanta thing that was not so appealing. So, Mom and Dad and I finally decided that Mom and I would go. Scott and our friend Rusty were already there, so the added bonus was getting to see S when I did not think that I would see him for a couple of days (he was staying down there for the tourney).

I took a nap on the window seat at Mom and Dad's ( TN was playing at 9:45, we figured we would be home around 2:00 am) and planned on heading to my house to drop Koz off and change. Well, traffic was at a stand still just past the house, on the way down the mountain, so I just headed back, left Koz with Percy and Dad and Mom and I headed off.

After we got out of Chattanooga traffic was fine and we got to The Gorgia Dome in time to meet S, get a suggestion on where to get a (GREAT) sandwich, and get to our seats in time to see the beginning of the Georgia v. Auburn game. Auburn's head coach Jeff Lebo used to coach at UTC (S and my Alma mater and FAVORITE bball team). This made S root against Auburn (he thinks Lebo used us and left as soon as he was offered more money...a bad thing for us, but you can't blame the guy, which is why...)Mom and I were for the Tigers, who lost pretty badly. We did have great seats, right at half court, on the floor, about 8 rows back, thanks to Dad's position on the UT Board (as Rusty says, "snooty").

After Mom and I unsuccessfully searched the Dome for ice cream we settled in for the UT v. LSU game. The game was close and went into overtime...TN played well, but not good enough to beat Glen "Big Baby" Davis and the LSU Tigers who have underachieved to this year.

We still hope to get into the final 65, as TN was ranked 22nd in the last national poll. The SEC might end up with as many as 5 teams in the tourney. Because of the overtime Mom and I rolled in around 2:45 AM.

I spent the night at Mom and Dad's (S stayed in Hot 'lanta with Rug) and had a pretty lazy day today. Mom and I went to a fundraising sale for a breast cancer foundation in town and I got a pair of earrings, a skirt and a blazer, all for 50% off or more. Then Mom, Dad and I went to the Meeting Place (http://www.stjohnsrestaurant.com/meeting-place.php) for dinner. I had a great burger and two glasses of nice Merlot, thanks to Momma picking me up and dropping me off at home after dinner.

I am about to call Scotty and see if he and Rug are going to stay in Atlanta tonight or not...going to yoga in the morning and then heading to "coach" the alumni team in the alumni V varsity fundraising soccer game. I hope to get a run in the afternoon - I did not get one in (more specifically, make time for one) yesterday or today...

It's Amazing

With the blink of an eye you finally see the light

It's Amazing

When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright

It's Amazing

And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight
(Aerosmith)

And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through

WOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

I did it! I stuck to it! 2 minute walk, 10 minute run, 2 minute walk, 10 minute run, 2 minute walk , 10 minute run, 8 minute walk home!

First off I did not even want to go...but it was weird b/c I found myself changing and putting my sneakers on without thinking about it. During the second 10 minute run I was thinking, I am going to do a 5 minute run, 5 minute walk, 5 minute run instead of running 10 straight. But when I started the third 10 minute run I decided I could do it. I do need to thank Kanye, All American Regects and Diddy for helping me through that third 10 minute run!

It is really corny, but really cool, to tell you all how proud I am of myself for pushing through! I have never been very good at that - I am one to find a good excuse (good enough to even convince me) to stop when the going gets tough - and I did not stop!

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong,
we move along Along, along, along
(All American Rejects)