i seem to recognize your face

Before I left for Cleveland yesterday I talked to Bill again (runner friend in the office) and asked him if I needed breathing lessons, or something along those lines, in order to prevent the side stitches, as opposed to stomping and exhaling in order to curtail them. He said no, that my diaphragm just needs to get used to bounding around. I thought that was so funny...I have the man from my anatomy book in my head with his diaphragm bouncing around banging into all the surrounding organs. I have also managed to forget how important my IT bands are to the equation and spent a good deal of time last night (while watching TiVoed Gilmore Girls) trying to stretch those buggers out - they feel like rope!

Also, on the 10K front Jen sent me the course map for the 10K, which made it feel all too real and I am actively looking for a 5K to run. I have a feeling I will be better off if the 10K is not the first run I've EVER done...5K sounds like a better starting point!

Did manage to get to Starbucks, they were out of the sugar free Cinnamon Dolce syrup, so I splurged and went with the original. The interesting thing is that it was almost too sweet...it took me a long time to drink it!

Good visit with the head shrinker. Her way of helping me deal with my current (mild) anxiety was to remind me of the (much) more anxious moments, days, weeks...I had in the past. It did help put things in perspective!

Had to take the Koz to the vet yesterday afternoon b/c he has a weird bump on his side. We have to put ointment (love that word!) on it for two weeks and if it does not go down it will have to be surgically removed, to make sure it is not cancer!

Spent the evening with my Mom (S is out of town) and my sister and the family. We had a great dinner and a lot of fun. Her oldest son, Tommy does not really look like either my sister or her husband. But with Jimmy it is amazing b/c it is so evident that he has his Dad's eyes and nose and my sister's mouth and chin.

My goal this afternoon is three 10 minute runs with 2 minute breaks in between...let you know how it goes...

haunting, familiar, yet i can't seem to place it

(Pearl Jam)

Whe you get to the bottom you go back to the top of the slide

Despite my morning anxiety session, yesterday turned out to be a pretty good day.

I was busy with Dad all afternoon and felt a lot better after I ate lunch. I am considering Andy's suggestion to give up coffee all together...I just don't know if I can do it!

When I was heading out of the office last night I talked to a guy who is a long distance runner about my side stitch. He suggested that it was a breathing issue (which I guessed) and said that when the stitch starts I should exhale as I plant my foot on the opposite side (of the stitch). So, I got home and changed and headed out and it actually worked! AND I had one of the best runs I have had so far! I ran 12 minutes, walked 2, ran 10 minutes, walked 2 and ran 5 minutes and walked 3 home. whoo hoo! I ran A LOT more than I walked! And the only problem with the stitch advise is that it made the other side start up, so I think that I need to work on my breathing in general.

I actually wanted to run longer but I knew I needed to get home and eat a little something before Bible study. Managed to get in a yogurt and some dry cereal and headed out. Bible Study was good. I just love our group. I leave there feeling happy and empowered. Even if things that are said are totally against what I believe, I leave THINKING. Instead of just hearing and accepting I am actually THINKING - I like it!

I bought English muffins at the store...a staple from my past, and had one, with Smart Balance and raspberry jelly. when I got home...YUMMY!

About to head to Cleveland to see the head shrinker, I am determined to leave early enough to stop for a latte this time. So much for giving up coffee...

This is a song Charles Manson stole from the Beatles.
Were stealing it back. (U2)

Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing Part II

Better...passed balance test (I should have known I did the best Tree Stands I've ever done in class Saturday morning) and the receptionist (after I probed her) said she was a little cold too. Dad is here and yelling my name every two minutes...almost time to take Koz out on a walk. Think I'll make it!

Sometimes I feel like I can't even sing.

So, I am in the midst of a mild panic attack, for no good reason and I thought I would record what is going through my brain at the moment.

The beginning:
About 10 minutes ago I took a big swig of coffee and felt nauseous. I put the coffee up and grabbed my water and TLC crackers. Nausea subsided, thoughts did not. I started to "realize" that I fell a little out of it, kinda medicated, which is unusual. Then my mind started racing - did I take my meds twice this morning? As usual, the left side of my face feels a little funny, kinda droopy and I am continuously running the left side of my bottom lip across my teeth to make sure it is not numb. I have also taken to pinching my face (which is why I started typing so I would stop pinching) and my left hand.

Now:
My hands are ice cold. Right before I started typing this I got a mild (what I like to call) panic rush and the drive to get up and go talk to someone. Called Mom and S, neither there. Called Koz from his bed, he is snuggled in my lap. Started opening and closing my right eye then my left eye to see if my vision is off on either side, my left eye seems a little blurry. Very aware of the back of my head, punched around a little hoping not to find a soft spot. I have not been carrying my chill pills with me b/c things have been good lately. If I had one I would take it. I want to avoid picking my hair right now. Dad is supposed to be here shortly, hope he gets here soon so that I (just pinched the side of my face up my jaw line b/c it felt kinda funny) will get busy.

Now What:
I am going to go walk to the bathroom and back. Before I go I will do my balance tests...I will stand on one foot, extend my arms and touch my finger to my nose and evaluate my balance. Maybe on the way to the office someone else will mention that the office is cold and that will justify my freezing fingers.

Thanks for listening...

I'm very scared for this world
I'm very scared for me (REM)

Come on aboard, I promise you you won't hurt the horse

We treat him well, we feed him well.
There's lots of room for you on the bandwagon,
The road may be rough, the weather may forget us
But won't we all parade around and sing our songs,
a magic kingdom, open-armed (REM)

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Coronthians 13:1-3

Saturday:
kozmo love
yoga www.clearspringyoga.com
Greenlife http://www.greenlifegrocery.com/
BiLo http://www.bi-lo.com/
Riverside Wine and Spirits http://www.riversidewine.com/
kozmo love
Lady Mocs win Southern Conference Tournament
http://www.gomocs.com/article.asp?articleid=84236
sleep
Papa John's http://www.papajohns.com/
kozmo love
House Hunters http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/shows_hnt
knitting
sleep

Sunday:
kozmo love
paper www.timesfreepress.com
church http://www.brainerdumc.org/
Waffle House www.wafflehouse.com
Men's Warehouse www.menswearhouse.com
S & K www.skmenswear.com
Belk www.belk.com
Banana Republic www.bananarepublic.com
back to Men's Warehouse
kozmo love
more Papa John's
Mr Deeds http://imdb.com/title/tt0280590/
Legally Blond http://www.legallyblonde.com/
blog www.stapleittogether8.blogspot.com

Look at all the flags and all the banners waving
Open up our arms, a magic kingdom, open-armed and greet us all (Bandwagon)

And I don't understand why I sleep all day And I start to complain that there's no rain

First down period in a while.

Started last night in anticipation of the second opinion doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning. On LOST Wednesday night Kate pulled a dart out of James's foot (I love when she calls him James)..she said, on three and then pulled the dart out after the count of one. Sawyer said, why'd you do that and she responded that anticipation is always the worst part. I agree (it is also always the best part...).

Anyway, tough night last night, I was nervous and jittery and the onset occurred after dinner, I already had a glass of wine, so I did not want to take a chill pill to calm down. So, the old standby came into play (literally) and I took to picking at my hair and, as usual, searching for and destroying little breaks in my hair calmed me greatly. I was able to sleep but not well and not through the night.

Before I went to bed I discovered that I did not want to go to the OBGYN appointment for reasons out of my control, if you know what I mean. I rescheduled this morning. I called Dad this morning and took the day off. The worry of anticipation was quickly replaced by the worry that if something was wrong it would be even longer b/4 diagnosed.

I de-cluttered (to the extent possible) the house this morning waiting for the man from Lowes to come and address the few little things that have not been done (to our satisfaction). About an hour before he was to arrive Lowes called to say that he fell of a U Haul truck the day before and would not make it. At that point I decided to take the best medicine...a nice long nap.

Feeling a little better when I woke up, I had a late lunch (TLC crackers are my new obsession, I can eat a box in three days, easy) and took Koz on a walk. We went the route that I have run the last two times, my 40 minute run/walk took me and Koz's nose about an hour. It was a BEAUTIFUL day...I thought it would be a lot colder and rainy, not the case.

Officially, at this point, I am feeling better. I am planning on going to yoga in the morning for the first time in a long time. I am still telling myself that I will NOT be competitive (and pull my but muscle for the third time) that I will get a well needed stretch and hopefully a little spiritual connection from the class.

S is at the Y with our friend, I am anticipating a quite night. I am going to re-do the blanket I started for Jimmy in another fabric. I am not happy with the way it is turning out and it is too holey for me. I worry about a little baby toe getting stuck. I have a cashmere blend yarn that I planned to make a sweater out of that I am going to make into the new blanket.

Ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today

So stay with me and I'll have it made

Blind Melon, No Rain

Can't you see it's just raining? There ain't no need to go outside

Telephone singin, ringin, it's too early Don't Pick it up We don't need to...







We got everything we need right here And everything we need is enough







It's just so easy When the whole world fits inside of your arms Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm

Ain't no need, ain't no need Rain all day and I really really really don't mind

A little combo of a Chattanooga weather forecast, some new pics of BJ that my sister sent and my favorite song of ALL TIME (Banana Pancakes by Jack Johnson)

AND:

thanks mimi

back at you all!