Thursday, July 31, 2008

Now every heart has a blind side, Where it learns how to improvise

Thanks to everyone for their words of support and understanding.

Part of my frustration with the whole weight loss thing was that I was, for those two weeks, tracking what I ate very carefully. I was counting crackers and washing measuring cups nightly. WW online has a points tracker and everything that went into my mouth went on the points tracker. I skipped dessert, did not have a glass of wine, was hungry and felt like I had NO energy and it got me no where!

I feel a little bit lost in that area at the moment. I am going to let me mind continue to work through it and figure out what I am going to do by Monday.

The beach was great. I had a fabulous time and I ate and drank wine and swam and ran and walked and caught up with family and read in the hammock (discovered a new author,
Daniel Silva...I read Secret Servant in three days (fast for me) and it was goooood!) and felt fine.

My cousins live in Nags Head, NC and own this great restaurant,
Tortuga's Lie. In addition to outfitting us in their awesome T Shirts they always bring me a sense of calm and a sense of purpose. I walked away wondering if I was simply wondering too much!

My big accomplishments of the trip were running twice (I thought Chattanooga was hot) and swimming a mile in the ocean. The ocean swim took another brick out of my mental wall...boy did I want to quit...but I didn't and I lived to tell about it.

Being without the meds is getting a little tough. I forgot what it is like to have my mind be on overdrive 24/7. I am not sleeping well b/c I can not stop thinking. But when I slow down and try to relax the bad thoughts creep in and I tend to rev back up again to avoid them. Oh, what a vicious cycle.

I got up and worked out this morning. I had not gone yet this week. early morning meetings and a lack of motivation kept me in bed. I am going to run/walk tomorrow (30minute run and 20 minute walk on an incline) and do elliptical and weights Saturday and run OUTSIDE Sunday.

Thanks for listening to me ramble!
Take Care,
Molly

Now all of these voices
And all of these noises
With all their illusions of choices
They've come to my door
With one dozen roses
The imitation of good faith
-The Wallflowers

6 comments:

Steve Stenzel said...

Swimming a mile in the ocean?!? That's AWESOME!

teacherwoman said...

I think it is so important to eat when you are hungry. That's where I usually struggle with weight loss, I stop eating as much, when in reality it's what I am eating usually that causes the problems.

Lisa Slow-n-Steady said...

I've recently come to the conclusion that I need to watch what I eat after 7pm. That seems to be when I get into trouble..

Jess said...

It's 100% OK for you to rethink about the weight loss plan and where to go from here!

Glad to hear you had a good time at the beach...swimming a mile in the ocean is intense!

Borsch said...

A mile in the ocean...super! Way to break down those walls!

Danielle said...

I love the ocean...

Starving yourself won't help you lose weight either. And it removes your energy when trying to work out. Are you sure you are getting enough? I know when I tried WW it was tough and I did figure out the calories to points and it was quite low. Maybe you just need to up it at bit and let yourself have a little break.

Is being off the meds a potential cause too? All this change to your body could just be causing havoc.