Now every heart has a blind side, Where it learns how to improvise

Thanks to everyone for their words of support and understanding.

Part of my frustration with the whole weight loss thing was that I was, for those two weeks, tracking what I ate very carefully. I was counting crackers and washing measuring cups nightly. WW online has a points tracker and everything that went into my mouth went on the points tracker. I skipped dessert, did not have a glass of wine, was hungry and felt like I had NO energy and it got me no where!

I feel a little bit lost in that area at the moment. I am going to let me mind continue to work through it and figure out what I am going to do by Monday.

The beach was great. I had a fabulous time and I ate and drank wine and swam and ran and walked and caught up with family and read in the hammock (discovered a new author, Daniel Silva...I read Secret Servant in three days (fast for me) and it was goooood!) and felt fine.

My cousins live in Nags Head, NC and own this great restaurant, Tortuga's Lie. In addition to outfitting us in their awesome T Shirts they always bring me a sense of calm and a sense of purpose. I walked away wondering if I was simply wondering too much!

My big accomplishments of the trip were running twice (I thought Chattanooga was hot) and swimming a mile in the ocean. The ocean swim took another brick out of my mental wall...boy did I want to quit...but I didn't and I lived to tell about it.

Being without the meds is getting a little tough. I forgot what it is like to have my mind be on overdrive 24/7. I am not sleeping well b/c I can not stop thinking. But when I slow down and try to relax the bad thoughts creep in and I tend to rev back up again to avoid them. Oh, what a vicious cycle.

I got up and worked out this morning. I had not gone yet this week. early morning meetings and a lack of motivation kept me in bed. I am going to run/walk tomorrow (30minute run and 20 minute walk on an incline) and do elliptical and weights Saturday and run OUTSIDE Sunday.

Thanks for listening to me ramble!
Take Care,
Molly

Now all of these voices
And all of these noises
With all their illusions of choices
They've come to my door
With one dozen roses
The imitation of good faith
-The Wallflowers

I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me

What do you do when you get on the scale after two weeks of healthy eating and early morning exercise and STILL see no weight loss...

I do not know what YOU do...

But I...

eat two tubs of weight watchers ice cream
three WW toffee bars
cry
drink a big glass of cheap Pinot Gris
feel sorry for myself
and refuse to workout the next morning

I think I managed to eradicate every mentally and physically healthy aspect of my life in about 12 hours.

I really need an attitude adjustment...if the beach can't do it I fear I am a lost cause.

Take Care,
Molly

can't write if ya' can't relate,
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate,
and my time is a piece of wax, fallen on a termite,who's chokin' on the
splinters
-Beck

I'm talking here to me alone

Monday was a BAD day! After Saturday's uplifting post I got on the scale Monday morning and I had lost NOTHING! YUCK! I had a real pity party most of the day. In hind sight the pity party (and maybe the lack of weight loss) was probably due to (monthly) circumstances out of my control, if you know what I mean.

Still managed another good week of workouts:

Monday: 40 minutes Elliptical

Tuesday: 3miles...building and then declining intervals
Mile 1: 12:13
Mile 2: 11:09
Mile 3: 12:06

Thursday: 30 minutes Elliptical and 20 minutes lifting (arms)

Friday: 30 minute run (2.5 miles) and 20 minutes walk on incline

I am especially proud of two things so far this week. How about that second mile on Tuesday..looking good...and I ran the entire three miles without stopping! And this morning I managed to get up and get to the gym at 5:15 (usually get there at 5:45) b/c I had an early meeting this morning.

In other news from last week:

Tuesday was a big day in our city. Volkswagen decided to locate their new US production plant in Chattanooga. This is a project that the hubby has had on his radar for a while. He works in Economic and Community Development for the State. I have spent most of the week really enjoying being a proud wife!

Meds, or lack there of, this week has been up and down. The beginning of this week was tough and I had thoughts of calling the head shrinker and yelling...PROZAC, PLEASE...NOW! Today, on the other hand, has been one of the best days in a while. I KNOW these up and downs will happen for a while and I need to ride the waves!

Food this week has been good too. I am starting to appreciate food as fuel and the taste as an added benefit...(that being said I did stuff myself at Carrabba's tonight so you can scratch that!).

Tomorrow I am going to a 9:30 spin class (if I can get in, I am on a (cheap) restricted membership at the gym which means I can not make a reservation) and Sunday I am planning on running and lifting.

Tomorrow is a pretty busy day...a brunch lingerie shower, dropping in on my sister and the boys at the park and a 50th birthday party for Scott's uncle. Sunday is Kate's 4th birthday party!

The little ones are growing up!

Probably post something Monday or Tuesday...hoping to be posting about a weight lost. I hope to leave for the beach Wednesday night with a good mindset about putting a bathing suit on Thursday morning!

Take Care,
Molly

Take your instinct by the reins
Your better best to rearrange
What we want and what we need
Has been confused, been confused
-REM

Oh, Feelin' maybe he'll see a little better, set a days, ooh yeah

This has been a LONG week. Just about EVERY night this week I had some sort of meeting or event or fundraiser to go to. For this reason I am especially proud of the fact that I stuck to my plan and I got all my workouts in! Especially since I have been tired and had a tingle in my throat all week... that feeling I was about to get sick...I am hoping the 10 hours of sleep I got last night, and 10 I plan tonight, might fight it off.

Workouts:

Monday: 40 minutes on the Elliptical

Tuesday: 3 miles...4 minute run (5.0) 1 minute walk (4.0)
Mile 1: 12:17
Mile 2: 12: 31
Mile 3: 12:14

Wednesday: 20 minute Elliptical and 15 minute swim

Thursday: 20 minute run...1.6 miles and 30 minutes weights

Saturday: 30 minute run...2.5 miles and 20 minutes Elliptical

The only day that did not go quite as well as planned was Wednesday. I forgot my goggles and Scott was in the pool while I was on the Elliptical so he was kinda goofing off by the time I got to the pool...these two things left me less focused than I usually am.

WW going well. Staying on point with my points this week.

I am VERY proud of my runs this week. On Wednesday I ran 20 minutes straight and today I ran 30 minutes straight. I am learning to push through that mental wall and that little voice that tells me to stop before my body actually does.

I have felt pretty balanced with my meds this week. I did find out that my new head shrinker, that I was just beginning to trust, is moving...we did not really talk about what happens next. I am not sure if I need to find someone else or if she will recommend someone.

In other happy news my parents have offered to fly me to the beach this year. This is an annual trip that I did not get to take last year b/c of the campaign. Scott will not be able to go with me, which makes me sad; but, I know I will have a great time!

Take Care,
Molly

Even flow, thoughts arrive like butterflies
Oh, he don't know, so he chases them away
Someday yet, he'll begin his life again, yeah
Oh, whispering hands, gently lead him away
-Pearl Jam

But the air outside so soft is saying everything

First things first...the promised Greenbrier pictures...

The trip was wonderful...full of lost of food, family and fun.

We had a great time at cooking school...

Even when Dad got repeated lectures for taking his knife to the grill.

My Dad surprised my Mom the night of her birthday dinner and arranged for her brother to drive down from DC to visit for a while!

We rode horses...

and went bowling...

And Scott did falconry and

shot little clay things.

Finally we have to include the silly picture to close it down.

It was a great trip...I could have stayed...

This weeks workouts were pretty good!

last Saturday: run/walk 40 minutes

Monday: 50 minutes Elliptical

Tuesday: run/walk 40 minutes

Wednesday: 20 minute Elliptical and 20 minute swim

Friday: 1 hour walk

Saturday: 1 hour walk

This has been a pretty busy week.

Monday Scott's brother and sister in law had their second child Mattie:

Aunt Molly now has 2 nieces and 2 nephews!


Thursday night we gathered on the Hall Ass II to grill out and watch fireworks...the Lookouts baseball team on one side of the river and the Pops in the Park n the other side of the river!






Friday we went to Uncle Kit and Aunt Fran's for Kit's famous ribs. Scott only ate 19 ribs this year!

Saturday I helped throw a baby shower for my friend Michelle (middle).

And today I hosted a Mary Kay party. My sister's brother and sister in law are in town and her sister in law, Julie is a MK director. After the party we had dinner on the Hall Ass with my parents.

Given everything that has gone on this week I am relatively proud of my eating habits. I have not followed my weight watchers points to a "T" but I did remain mindful of what I was eating and how much I was eating.

This week was also a little touch and go with the meds. I had a few really tough days as I continued to lower my dose. As of Friday I am off of my Lamictal. I presume that there will be a couple more bumpy days to come.

This weeks plan:

Monday: 50 minute Elliptical

Tuesday: 40 minute run

Wednesday: 20 minute Elliptical/20 minute swim

Thursday: 20 minute run/20 minute weights

Saturday: 40 minute run

Sunday: Spinning

***************************UPDATE*******************

Weekly weigh in this (Monday) morning - 2 pounds lost.

Finally on the right track!

Take Care,
Molly

Though the air speaks of all well never be
It wont trouble me
-Toad the Wet Sprocket