The sun always shines when Im near you, Its just a blessing that I have found somebody like you

April 30, 2005

And every time I close my eyes

I thank the lord that Ive got you

And you've got me too

And every time I think of it

I pinch myself cause I don't believe its true

That someone like you

Loves me too (Baby Face)

And so she woke up, woke up from where she was lying still

A quick snap shot:

Ate Pop Tarts for bfast (instead of Kashi or oatmeal)

Ate out for lunch (salad and a slice of pineapple pizza...maybe something funky in the salad?)

Tried a vitamin fortified energy water my neighbor recommended (ginkgo and I don't always get along)

Not feeling great.

STILL not feeling great...getting those little stabbing cramp pains

Order out dinner with S's family (not hungry but don't want to be rude.)

Eat some pomodoro and some grilled chicken

Really not feeling good.

Get home and open a letter from an oncologists office (about two years ago my gyn suggested I get a fibrous mass checked out...checked out fine) saying that as a patient in active cancer treatment I had been chosen to lead a lap in the relay for life...

I don't cuss...(a lot)

F*CK
F*CK
F*CK

I am doing so well, I had not obsessed over my health in a long time, I am loving the way that running makes me feel and I am reducing my meds. Why do I look at this letter the day that I don't feel well.

What if the doctor gave me the wrong test results and I should be in cancer treatment...maybe this is why I don't feel well...

Right now you are thinking that this is irrational and the two don't correlate at all.

That, my friend, is the difference between you and me!

HOWEVER...

The difference between the old me and the new me...I'm over it...looking forward to tomorrow!

AND

That doctor's office is going to get one hell of a call tomorrow...this girl ain't a shrinking violet no more either!

You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice

Candyman tempting the thoughts of a Sweet tooth tortured by the weight loss

Ohhh Baby...it hurts to run after taking a week off!
Didn't do too bad! Now that I have this nifty watch/HR monitor I can give stats:

40 minutes total
Average HR 144
3 miles

Lap 1 (1 Lap = 1 mile)
12:28
average HR 66%
Lap 2
13:02
average HR 81%
Lap 3
13:37
average HR 83%

What do y'all think?

In other news...nothing exciting happening b/c after our "all out" trip to Chicago we have NO money! We did have fun cooking out with our next door neighbors last night. New inexpensive wine to mention - Twin Finn Pino Gris....Especially if you like a REALLY smooth white! I have also decided that grilled pineapple is my favorite thing EVER!

Program cutting the corners
Loose end, loose end, cut, cut
On the fence, could not to offend
Cut, cut, cut, cut (DMB)

I don't care if I never get back

CHICAGO PICS

A little humor to begin with...Scott was taking so long to take a picture of me with my...Huge pancakes (this is the short stack) at the Grand Luxe Cafe that I resorted to making a funny face....

The humor continues at the John Hancock building in Chicago where you can pretend to be a window washer. I do agree with the hype that this view is better than the Sears Tower.

OK...so maybe I was just feeling particularly silly this morning...here I am striking a pose in front of the famous Wrigley Field sign.

This is the rooftop building that we went to. It is run by a company called Beyond the Ivy. Note the great rooftop stadium seats as well as the indoor area, with big picture windows, below.

This is the "media room" in the indoor portion. The seats are looking at one big screen and two smaller TV screens. The Cubs, Sports Center, The Bulls and other sporting events were on.

This is the indoor area that I thought resembled a nice box at a game. Behind the tables is the indoor bar, and you can see that there is a TV in there too...as you do not get a full field view.

So, here I am on the rooftop! The best, Jerry, the best!

There were "K" signs and slots which S got a kick out of.

So Sunday morning we met Scott's buddy and business partner (SH)and at his suggestion went to Lou Mitchell's, which I, now, highly recommend. When you walk in the door you are greeted and handed a fresh donut hole and when you are seated the ladies and kids get a little box of Milk Duds, I am sure there is a story...I have no idea. I had some great banana pancakes!

It was HOT Sunday. The redhead got her obligatory (sunscreen) rub down!

As you can see we went back to the rooftop. We figured by the time we bought a ticket (it was the Cards!) and had all we could eat and drink the price for a ticket was not all that bad. Plus, S wanted his buddy to experience it too.

S and his buddy enjoying beer on the rooftop.

Monday morning S and his buddy had business meetings so I braved the L alone and headed out to Frank Lloyd Wrights Home and Studio at Oak Park. This is my attempt at a self portrait in front of the house. This is right after I ran (the only running of the trip) about a mile to (try to) make it for the 11:00 tour. When I got there I was told the 11:00 tour was sold out, but there were plenty of spots in the 11:20 tour. Of course, I had no idea there was an 11:20 tour!

No pictures allowed inside....but I highly recommend it! It is a beautiful and functional and practical and magical space that is so far ahead of its time it is amazing!

Outside Oak Park 3.

I needed no sunscreen for Monday night's Cubs game...it was FREEZING. I even signed up for a credit card in order to get the "gift" which was a blanket. I am sure Bank of America did well with their promotion that night!

I never got any pizza. I went home Tuesday afternoon and S and his buddy had pizza Wednesday night. They went to Uno's. I am not a fan of deep dish...so I was not all that bummed.

I had a great time and I am sad it is over... but it is time to get my lazy but back to the gym...gotta work off all those pancakes and all that (all you can drink is dangerous!) wine!


Let me root root root for the....CUBBIES, if they don't win it's a shame

For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the ole ball game!

Its crazy Im thinking, just knowing that the world is round

Back from Chicago....GREAT time!

Despite planning (packed running shorts, shirts and shoes) and the best intentions I did not get an "official" workout in. Did do a lot of walking and did core work and push ups in the room...but that is it! (I'll blame it on the extra inning games, and all you can drink wine (see below)!)

We had a great time...three Cubbies games...won one for three, not unusual for the Cubs. REALLY enjoyed the rooftop seats (ended up going twice), worth every penny. All you can drink wine, beer, soda, water. All you can eat hot dogs, burgers, chips, BBQ grilled chicken and brownies. Great stadium seating on the roof top and also two indoor areas. One with the field in view and the other set up to watch multiple TVs at once (a lot of people where keeping an eye on the Bulls game Saturday night). Best of all...great bathrooms!

Weather was crazy...sunburned one day, freezing the next!

Ate bfast at a place called Lou Miller's that is SO good...have to go if you are in Chicago!

Great visit to Frank Lloyd Wright's home at Oak Park - just makes me admire the man more.

Hit Michigan Street shopping and did a little damage...I would say I did pretty well considering that every store you can dream of is located along this magnificent mile!

Not going to try to get back into any routine...heading to the beach on the 1st. That will allow for a lot of training...love running on the beach and there is a great gym just down the road from where we are staying where I can get weights and yoga in!

Scott gets home (with the camera) tomorrow...he stayed for business... I have lots of pics to post, so I will add more juicy trip details when I put them up.

I'm here I'm dancing on the ground.
Am I right side up or upside down?
Is this real, oh lord, or am I dreaming? (DMB)

But these stories don't mean anything, When you've got no one to tell them to

Wednesday I could not get out of the parking lot. We have one of those key cards that lets the car in and out of the lot. I managed to get in Wednesday morning, but when Wednesday afternoon rolled around the card was not in its usual spot. I had to back out of the exit lane (thank goodness no one was behind me) and search for it.

My first thought was that I took it into the office for some reason...I had cleaned out my purse at the office that afternoon so there was the possibility it ended up on my desk. Trecked back in tohe office and looked there with no luck. Got to the car and decided that maybe I had it in my lap when I got out of the car and it feel out onto the pavement. I drove back up to the roof and looked around, and nothing. Stopped up there and did another search of the car and found nothing!

So, I realized that I needed to get going and coughed up the $5 if costs to get out of the lot without a card.

Didn't think about it again until yesterday morning. Before I left the house I did another check of the car. Way under my seat was the box of peanut butter crackers I am supposed to be handing out. Not handing them out is partially my fault for not carrying them with me as diligently as I once planned and also a reduction in the number of people approaching me.

Low and behold there in the peanut butter cracker box was my card...this got me thinking. There is no logical way for it to have ended up there...even if the card fell under the seat I don't see how it would have cleared the lip of the box. So, on my walk with Koz I stuffed my pockets with crackers thinking that this must have been a sign that I would meet someone who needed the crackers today. Our walk was nice and we did not come across anyone asking for help.

At this point I thought how silly I was. I am sure there was some reason that the card could bounce into the box...stranger things have happened. Peanut butter crackers did not enter my mind for the rest of the day.

On the way home I got off at my regular exit and there they were. A young couple with a dog. The girl had black hair in dreads, the real kind (not the kind that people who want to have the real kind have). She had on a white T Shirt and cut off pants and a very old pair of canvas sneakers. She was sitting on the side of the road with the black and white dog, one sleeping bag and a messenger type bag. The guy had on an old hat, with oily hair sticking out from under it, a faded concert T-shit of some description, jeans and no shoes. He was standing by the side of the road with a sign that said:

TRAVELING
BROKE
HUNGRY

in a girly print with embellishments, obviously the work of his lady friend. I turned around and instead of being crammed under my seat the peanut butter crackers were easily within reach. I rolled the window down and motioned him over and handed him too packs. He said, "thank you so much" and as he reached for the crackers I noticed a tattoo on his hand...it said TRUST. He handed her the crackers and she enthusiastically thanked me and I drove on.

He really does work in mysterious ways!

Tomorrow morning at 6:15 I am getting on a plane to Chicago...probably will be out of touch until next Tuesday...there is a gym at the hotel...that should truly test my dedication.


All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am (Brandi Carlile)

Goodness knows I saw it coming

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person; however I have been pretty dense on this one...

It occurred to me (for the first time) last night that if I start running at a steady pace (instead of "as fast as comfortable") that my heart rate would climb past 75% (b/c it did) much slower! It was not until the last 5 minutes that I was slowing the treadmill to a crawl. Good run .

I have been dreaming like a crazy person lately...I actually had to call my Mom this morning to ask her if she actually told me something yesterday or I dreamed it!

Getting ready to head to Chicago early Saturday morning...it is finally warming up here in TN, but it looks like we are headed back into "cooler" weather (which means packing layers, which means packing more, ugh).

We are going to three Cubbies games, (S is a HUGE fan!) Saturday night we are going to watch from the roof top (which is very expensive and I hope when we get there I will understand why) Saturday night and from the stands Sunday and Monday nights.

I have free time (S has meetings) on Monday and Tuesday...the only thing I know I want to do is visit a couple Frank Lloyd Wright houses, and (window) shop.

I have been feeling pretty "panicky" this week in the wake of the Virginia Tech tragedy. Any event that illustrates, so clearly, how fragile life is tends to send me swirling. I have handled this much better than I would have a while ago. I have prayed a lot, for the families, the community, the souls of those who we all lost. Instead of dwelling on the death I have asked myself to celebrate life and every breath that I am gifted with and making sure that I enjoy and appreciate, in some way, every one.

I also hope that this tragedy brings to light the need to treat mental illness as seriously as physical illness. I was lucid enough to know that I needed help, that I wanted help for the dark obsessive thoughts I was having. The young man at the center of this was obviously not as lucid, however it seems that those around him should have been more diligent in getting him the help that he needed. If there is to be a lesson learned, I hope that we make mental care less stigmatized and more available to those who need it (whether they know it or not!).

This could be the very minute

I'm aware I'm alive

All these places feel like home (Snow Patrol)